News
Holy Pope Drama! - by Robyn Pennacchia
4+ hour, 40+ min ago (571+ words) Donald Trump is fighting with everyone these days. He's fighting Iran, he's fighting with several of his former acolytes, and now he's fighting with the actual Pope, who just really hurt his feelings by not wanting him to bomb Iran…...
Maple MAGA MP Joins Liberal Party of Canada
1+ day, 8+ hour ago (355+ words) I'm writing this on Saturday as they're holding a big weekend conference in Montreal, so who knows how many more might've been announced by the time you read this, but last count he was just one seat shy from the…...
Wonkette Movie Night: The Iron Giant
1+ day, 23+ hour ago (648+ words) It is 1957 and an outsider has arrived in Rockwell, Maine. The outsider comes from beyond what we know, a being from beyond our Earthly boundaries. A person reporting an alien/immigrant arrival would probably receive a larger response in 2026 from…...
Your Iran Israel Lebanon Clusterfuque Update!
2+ day, 4+ hour ago (501+ words) Clearly, it is time to send in the big guns to negotiate an end to this conflict before events spin even further out of control! Unfortunately, Donald Trump is sending JD Vance, so we're all fucked. Wonkette loves you, and…...
Zohran Mamdani Is From Government, Here To Help
2+ day, 6+ hour ago (508+ words) It's hardly news to point out that New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani is damn good at social media, like how Fiorello La Guardia was good at radio and Richard Nixon was terrible at TV. And of course he got where…...
Heck Of A Week, JD Vance!
2+ day, 8+ hour ago (609+ words) Yes, yes, no one wants to think about JD Vance any more than they have to. Including Donald John Trump! Seems he left Vance out of his inner loop on the Armageddon he was mulling in Iran over the weekend,…...
But you know it's your own damn fault. Wonkette One-A-Day for 4/10/26
3+ day, 2+ hour ago (176+ words) Good afternoon, how's everybody? FINE? GOOD. We began our day with tabs! Then I managed to post Robyn on the West Virginia supreme court telling measles to go fuck itself and Evan on Trump's lunatic yesterday afternoon simultaneously! GREAT JOB,…...
Melania Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Pedophile!
3+ day, 7+ hour ago (971+ words) And gee, why were Epstein and Melania's social circles so overlapping, who, what, when, where, and whyhow came the jizz that stuck the pages of that particular address book together? It is a puzzle! She must be so furious Trump…...
Newsmax Guy: Why Do We Never See Aliens Peeing Standing Up, And Are Women To Blame?
3+ day, 4+ hour ago (441+ words) In a recent broadcast, Newsmax host Rob Finnerty went on a very confusing rant about how the aliens he sees in movies are skinny, androgynous creatures that fail to conform to earthling gender roles, which he seems to believe are…...