1+ hour, 56+ min ago  (606+ words) On Sunday, Mexican Special Forces shot and killed El Mencho, ne" Nemesio Rub"n Oseguera Cervantes, AKA the leader of the Jalisco New Generation Cartel and the cocaine, heroin and meth king of Mexico. Nine of his hench-people were killed…...

4+ hour, 54+ min ago  (399+ words) The least popular American at the Olympics since Tonya Harding! Though after slow wet fart noise JD went home the US women's ice hockey team went on to win the gold, beating Canada in an overtime nailbiter. On Sunday, Jack…...

1+ day, 2+ hour ago  (470+ words) It's like chocolate milk but coffee flavored and it is magical, thank me later. Anyway! The One Million Moms are very upset about a Dunkin' Donuts ad that features Megan Thee Stallion, on account of how it is just too…...

1+ day, 17+ hour ago  (345+ words) The first lady, Ellen, hates her husband and reluctantly puts in only minimal required facetime in front of the press. (Hey, some of this is sounding a little familiar.) Affable nice-guy Dave soon gets a surprise visit from the Secret…...

1+ day, 23+ hour ago  (638+ words) Mr. President, sir, may I kiss you? Well sir, it's because I'm so grateful to you. Your tariffs saved my steel plant. It was done. It was kaput. We were running one shift a week. And that shift was only…...

2+ day, 2+ hour ago  (724+ words) But really, wouldn't it be safer to just avoid that icky stuff altogether, to avoid upsetting students (and really, parents) who are absolutely certain that Donald Trump and Gov. Greg Abbott made LGBTQ+ people illegal already? Just say that Oscar…...

2+ day, 3+ hour ago  (233+ words) Today is World Pangolin Day, a day upon which to take some time to think about pangolins, which are apparently sometimes known as "scaly anteaters" because they eat ants and have freakishly long tongues, but also have scales. In fact,…...

2+ day, 21+ hour ago  (660+ words) Greetings, Wonketeers! I'm Hooper, your bartender. I'm back from my pirate vacation and thrilled to be back in the world of soft beds and indoor plumbing. Let's mix up a breakfast-style espresso martini - a perfect "wake me up and fix…...

3+ day, 19+ min ago  (656+ words) What in the hell is going on at the Department of Labor? Oh, we don't mean in terms of policy. Under Donald Trump, as best we can tell, the department has promulgated a standard Republican mixture of deregulation of business,…...

3+ day, 1+ hour ago  (495+ words) Oh, is a certain fragile man feeling guilty about something after getting busted pathetically slobbering for an invite to Epstein's very wildest parties? Schroedinger's white man, gifted by God to be superior in every way, and also His most punished…...