2+ hour, 21+ min ago  (126+ words) The post Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country appeared first on The Onion. Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man Study: Majority Of Nation's Sweat Now Produced From…...

57+ min ago  (122+ words) The post Kissing Practiced On Wife appeared first on The Onion. Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man Study: Majority Of Nation's Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings Wedding…...

57+ min ago  (138+ words) Featuring lush, non-native tropical plants, a pool, a fish pond, and a private putting green, this home spits in Mother Nature's face and dares her to do something about it. Reference #815233 The post Water-Inefficient Landscaping appeared first on The Onion....

57+ min ago  (102+ words) A meta-analysis of existing research found that cat owners had an increased risk of schizophrenia-related disorders, concluding that those exposed to cats had twice the likelihood of developing psychosis. What do you think? "You try not developing a few schizophrenic…...

57+ min ago  (273+ words) NEW YORK'Calling the breakthrough a significant step forward in xenotransplantation, New York University doctors confirmed Monday they had successfully transplanted a pig foreskin onto a circumcised human. "This successful operation proves that pig penises are a viable, long-term solution for…...

57+ min ago  (290+ words) WASHINGTON'Admitting that his prior beliefs regarding conflagrations had been formed out of ignorance, longtime U. S. Forest Service icon Smokey Bear issued a statement Monday claiming that his views on wildfires had evolved. "You have to understand, when I was coming up…...

57+ min ago  (168+ words) Contaminated Teats Of Health Secretary Produced Tainted Dairy Products WASHINGTON'In what experts are already calling one of the worst outbreaks of foodborne illness in decades, the U. S. Food and Drug Administration issued an urgent recall Tuesday for 40, 000 gallons of RFK Jr....

1+ hour, 52+ min ago  (206+ words) June is time for Pride and time for travel. The Onion shares tips for helping LGBTQ+ Americans stay safe while traveling this summer." Use discretion when conversing with strangers on apps who list their job as "Secret Police." Make sure…...

2+ day, 2+ hour ago  (106+ words) Saturday, June 6, 2026 At least three incidents of mysterious men climbing up from manholes in Brooklyn and Queens have been reported in the past month, prompting warnings from NYC officials about the dangers of exploring the sewer system. What do you…...

3+ day, 39+ min ago  (295+ words) LOS ANGELES'Sending fans of Greek mythology into a frenzy on social media, The Odyssey director Christopher Nolan confirmed Friday that god of sky and thunder Zeus had landed a cameo role in the film as a Trojan soldier. "Yes, that…...