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News
Would You Give Dear Leader Trump Your Undying Devotion In Exchange For $500 or $5,000 Or Zero Money?
2+ day, 8+ hour ago (757+ words) There’s good news and bad news for the Republican Party today. The good news is, President Donald Trump’s numbers are way up! The bad news is, those aren’t polling numbers, they are the cost of a gallon of gasoline. WHOOOO-EEEE…...
Trump Ballroom Will Be Too Hard To Tear Down So We Shouldn’t Bother, Says Trump
1+ week, 1+ day ago (558+ words) What’s next in Donald Trump’s desecration of our fair nation’s capital city? What’s even left after he razed the East Wing of the White House to build Ballroom with Drone Port and dumped the remains of the structure onto the…...
Supreme Court Says President Grandpa Gets His Hitler Bunker
1+ week, 4+ day ago (736+ words) Another day, another Supreme Court ruling that the ugly-ass ballroom that the Trump administration is building can proceed, against the wishes of just about every American out there and definitely the rest of the world. Second of all, it’s getting…...
If Donald Trump Rebuilds Anything, We Must Rename It For Him. Yes, Even America.
2+ week, 1+ day ago (795+ words) Because Donald Trump is the greatest builder to ever live. He loves to build! It’s fun for him! Which is why we have to let him destroy America so he can rebuild America! And as a token of our appreciation,…...
Secretary Brainworm Lied To Congress About Anti-Vax Pilgrimage To Samoa. Turns Out, That’s Illegal!
2+ week, 1+ day ago (465+ words) You know, because anything “natural” is good for you, just like cancer, arsenic, and delicious, delicious roadkill. Shapiro also noted that Kennedy had previously visited Lancaster County, where many of the worst cases have occurred, and told them that measles…...
Donald Trump Race Car Go ZHOOOOM ZHOOOOOOM!
2+ week, 5+ day ago (383+ words) Washington DC just hosted its first racing event. City officials didn’t lobby for it. DC residents didn’t ask for it. The Freedom 250 Grand Prix was organized in conjunction with Donald Trump’s White House, and there was nothing DC could do…...
Hey, So Why The Hell Is Hakeem Jeffries Meeting With Prince Jared Of Trump?
2+ week, 5+ day ago (577+ words) Maybe … no, we think that’s the end of the list of ways this weekend’s reporting on Jeffries meeting with Kushner could be OK. The New York Times says explicitly that Jeffries and Kushner met to talk about ways Democrats and…...
Natalie Harp Wrote Trump Love Letters, They Are Very Long And Gross
3+ week, 1+ day ago (729+ words) The saga of Donald Trump and Natalie Harp has taken another weird turn. We bet you didn’t see that coming! Actually, you probably did. Because where anything Trump-related is concerned, it can always get weirder. This was the first time…...
Sorry, MAGA: Nobody’s Talking About Natalie Because They Think Trump’s D*ck Still Works
3+ week, 3+ day ago (1421+ words) Oh dear God, the feigned outrage is now incessant from MAGA over Democratic Senator Jon Ossoff highlighting the bizarre and disturbing relationship between Donald Trump and Natalie Harp, the blonde “human printer” who won’t leave his side, whose own brother…...
'He Just Wants To Travel With Natalie"
3+ week, 5+ day ago (594+ words) Jon Ossoff was on the stump showing everybody his humps yesterday, and he used his formidable powers to decide that the time has come to start talking about Donald Trump’s curiously gross relationship with Natalie. OSSOFF: While the sailors on…...