5+ hour, 54+ min ago   (310+ words) LOS ANGELES—Emphasizing that late entries would not be tolerated, producers for the 78th Primetime Emmy Awards issued a statement Sunday warning aging stars that the deadline to be included in this year’s “In Memoriam” segment was midnight. “Our ‘In Memoriam…...

2+ day, 19+ hour ago   (113+ words) The post Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed appeared first on The Onion. New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked Grandma Just…...

2+ day, 22+ hour ago   (97+ words) An explosive report revealed that the United Arab Emirates warned Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu about an imminent attack by Hamas 10 days before Oct. 7, with Netanyahu reportedly dismissing the threat that would end up destabilizing the region. What do you…...

2+ day, 23+ hour ago   (256+ words) As the weather cools down, millions of Americans are adjusting their wardrobes accordingly. The Onion asked celebrities to share their favorite fall fashion tips to help you look your best this autumn. Explore the list in detail “Eyes are kind…...

2+ day, 23+ hour ago   (279+ words) EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Touting the gameplay element as the ultimate immersive experience, Rockstar Games announced Thursday that a new hyperrealistic Grand Theft Auto VI feature would force players to serve out prison sentences in real time. “GTA VI is powered by…...

3+ day, 54+ min ago   (278+ words) WASHINGTON—Saying the tragic events of 25 years ago were just the beginning in the nation’s blue states, President Donald Trump claimed Thursday that 9/11 attacks were happening every single day in Democratic cities. “You go to Seattle or Minneapolis or any…...

3+ day, 1+ hour ago   (104+ words) The post The World According to Harp appeared first on The Onion. New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956 Police Lose Planted…...

3+ day, 3+ hour ago   (166+ words) WASHINGTON—Saying America could frankly be more grateful for the enduring image he provided, President Donald Trump claimed Wednesday that he was the previously unidentified Falling Man captured midair in an iconic photograph taken on 9/11. “I was on top of…...

3+ day, 3+ hour ago   (213+ words) Musk, a new documentary about the SpaceX and Tesla CEO by Oscar winner Alex Gibney, premiered at the Venice Film Festival this week. Here is what the film revealed about Elon Musk: Was a bit of a loner as an…...

3+ day, 5+ hour ago   (124+ words) 53, died Sunday but seriously looks so good you cannot even tell that she’s dead. The post Linda Westerman appeared first on The Onion. New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There Display Of Genuine…...