2+ day, 22+ hour ago   (113+ words) The post Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed appeared first on The Onion. New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked Grandma Just…...

3+ day, 2+ hour ago   (256+ words) As the weather cools down, millions of Americans are adjusting their wardrobes accordingly. The Onion asked celebrities to share their favorite fall fashion tips to help you look your best this autumn. Explore the list in detail “Eyes are kind…...

3+ day, 2+ hour ago   (279+ words) EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Touting the gameplay element as the ultimate immersive experience, Rockstar Games announced Thursday that a new hyperrealistic Grand Theft Auto VI feature would force players to serve out prison sentences in real time. “GTA VI is powered by…...

3+ day, 3+ hour ago   (278+ words) WASHINGTON—Saying the tragic events of 25 years ago were just the beginning in the nation’s blue states, President Donald Trump claimed Thursday that 9/11 attacks were happening every single day in Democratic cities. “You go to Seattle or Minneapolis or any…...

3+ day, 6+ hour ago   (166+ words) WASHINGTON—Saying America could frankly be more grateful for the enduring image he provided, President Donald Trump claimed Wednesday that he was the previously unidentified Falling Man captured midair in an iconic photograph taken on 9/11. “I was on top of…...

3+ day, 8+ hour ago   (388+ words) More people than ever are eschewing parenthood, and if you talk to my peers, they’ll readily tell you why. They’ll say it’s too expensive, or boast about how they’d rather focus on traveling or their careers. Some will even argue…...

4+ day, 8+ hour ago   (117+ words) The bride and groom said they knew they were perfect together when they both failed to get any other matches on Hinge. The post Loretta Parodi and Sam Alcott appeared first on The Onion. Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked Grandma…...

4+ day, 8+ hour ago   (82+ words) Hope you like cicadas A new Gallup poll found that 52% of Republicans support labor unions in spite of GOP lawmakers’ continued push to stifle union priorities. What do you think? “We can’t count on all bosses to treat their workers…...

5+ day, 8+ hour ago   (299+ words) WASHINGTON—Setting off a fresh wave of scrutiny over the commander-in-chief’s physical condition, speculations regarding President Donald Trump’s health swirled Tuesday after he slumped over in the saddle of a runaway horse. This afternoon the president was seen flopping languidly…...

6+ day, 8+ hour ago   (201+ words) Monday, September 7, 2026 Hope you like cicadas World’s No. 1 Vector Of Disease Eliminated From Nation ATLANTA—Hailing its success as a major victory for the public health and safety of all Americans, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced Monday…...